My take on this thing called Motherhood…

Posted by Monica in Mushy Mommy Moments | 5 comments

So, I found a contest on another blog that told us to write about what Motherhood is to me… Well, I missed the deadline for the contest, but I thought it was a great idea to write about anyway.

When I was without children, Daddy and I were having so much fun with our lives. We married, lived in a little desert town called Twenty nine Palms, CA… although, there were waaaaay more than just twenty nine palm trees there. We worked, and had fun on the weekends. Then we got word that his next duty station was going to be in Okinawa, Japan. Imagine that! I actually get to go to where my relatives are from. Well, half of them anyway. He was given the choice of one year alone, or three years with me… When he called to tell me this, it was a no-brainer. Of course I wanted to fly across the Pacific Ocean to JAPAN! DUH!

The three years we spend in Okinawa were some of the best times. We were almost never home, except when we HAD to be there. We went out all the time to explore the island. We even picked up SCUBA diving. Talk about a whole new world… It was amazing! Yes, I miss it…

When we got home, I found out I was pregnant… When I saw that little “Pregnant” on my digital pregnancy test … of course it was a digital test.. I’m a techie.. i don’t believe in using things that aren’t digital.. I was flooded with all kinds of feelings. I was excited, happy, scared, worried, and much, much more… What person isn’t when they find out they’re pregnant with their first child. Oh.. and it wasn’t until I was 22 weeks along and 2 weeks after we purchased enough furniture and baby gear for one baby, that we found out that there were two babies in there. All those feelings I had when I found out I was even pregnant came flooding back again. I think I cried for the entire Ultrasound. I honestly can’t remember completely since it was such a shocker. The rest of my pregnancy, I could only think about eating right, exercising, and keeping these two little turkeys baking for as long as possible!

Once I got into my 3rd trimester, I was going to an ultrasound every week. When I went in for my 37 week checkup, I was told that there was no reason to keep them in there. They were at a very healthy size, and everything was fully developed. They scheduled me for a C-Section for the following Friday.. I was going to be 38 weeks on that day. All those feelings came back again… I know.. I was an emotion fountain. I thought I still had 2 weeks to go. I still hadn’t felt any contractions, or anything. I guess they were just content to be in there! I had no idea what one more week of “Freedom” was.

On the morning of July 15th, we arrived at the hospital to be greeted by Meemaw & Peepaw, and Great Grandma. I walked back to the triage area where I was hooked up to all kinds of monitors, and was introduced to every person on the team. It was awesome.. I’d never really had such a big deal made over little ol’ me.. Well.. I guess I was pretty big at this point *teehee*… Anyway, I was excited.. I wasn’t even thinking ahead about the sleepless nights, the crying, or fussing. I just wanted to see what my beautiful babies were going to look like, to hold them in my arms, and to kiss their beautiful cheeks. I didn’t even freak out when they stuck that needle in my back for the spinal… My perfectly good back.. It’s not like I was hurting from contractions or anything that made me think this pain would be better than contraction pain. No.. I had a big needle stuck in my perfectly painless back… and it was all worth it.

Once I heard that Monkey See was born, and I heard her first cry, I knew that every little bit of pain, every doctor’s appointment, every tank of gas was totally worth it. Then I was told that Monkey Do was out, and crying, and I just wanted to be a momma. Their mommy… Unfortunately, I was still strapped down, and wide open.. I didn’t actually get to see the girls for a few hours. They wheeled me to recovery, and the girls were in the NICU for a little bit. Around 3:30 pm, I finally got to see Monkey See. They wheeled her in to my room in her little clear bassinet. She was so tiny! Monkey Do was still in the NICU. She was having trouble keeping her body temp up, so they had her under some lamps. They did finally bring her in a little bit later. She was so small too… I couldn’t believe that these 2 6 pound babies were inside of me… Talk about an instant 12 pound weight loss…
The first few nights in the hospital were so hard. Not just because of lack of sleep, but because they kept coming in and waking us all up to check on us all. They were constantly taking the girls’ temps, and checking their hearts, and oh yeah.. drawing blood. My poor babies were little baby pincushions. I seriously wanted to just tell them to leave them alone. But I knew that everything they did was just to make sure we were all going to go home healthy.

That first day out of the hospital was so scary. Even just driving home was spooky. Daddy did a great job getting us home safely! Thank you Daddy! The rest of the last two years is a complete blur. I remember the first time we bathed them. I remember the first time they rolled over. I remember the first time they sat up, crawled, walked, ran, laughed, and said “I Love You.” There are so many firsts that I have been able to see with them and I’ve loved being a part of each one of them. Yes, times have been difficult, and frustrating… But Motherhood is just something that is more rewarding than I could ever imagine. I’ve been told that being a Mommy is one of the most thank-less jobs. Well, yes, I can see it. I don’t get thank you’s for just changing a diaper, or serving a meal, or making sure a bag is packed, but, I don’t really need to. Sure, it’d be nice to hear it someday, when they’re older and understand a little more about what goes into planning a day, but it’s not required. I get a special Thank You every time they run up to me and throw their arms around my neck for a big squeezy hug and when they just look at me and smile. I get a Thank You every time they just say “I Love You Mommy”, or show me their funny face that’s covered in popsicle, or chocolate. Some day, when they graduate from college, they’ll know why they got all A’s on their report cards… And Daddy helped too!

I don’t think I could sum it up better than: I absolutely believe I was put here on this planet to be a Mommy to my two girls!